Category Archives: Relationships

Girls with Condoms…Tacky?

Condoms today are a sign of sexual consciousness, a big neon sign saying no lovin’ unless you put on the love glove, and hopefully, no STD’s, no HIV, no unplanned pregnancies.

On the other hand, it’s also a big fat no to the lingering question to young adults: Are you a virgin? It can also coyly hint that you like doing it. And you like doing it a lot – depending on the size of the Costco pack you have in your nightstand.

This is the side of the Black Eyed Peas took in an interview with Elle Magazine. Discussing his humble and conservative perspective his “philosopher” mother placed him under, he says that growing up, he and his family never discussed anything sexual in nature. He didn’t begin to sexually explore until the age of 19. Sexually mature now, he realized seeing condoms in her home could be a deal-breaker for him. Continue reading


Read Unhitched and Get Familiar with Some Unfamiliar Family Types

Normal families consisting of a happily married husband and wife and their identical children have always made me uncomfortable and a little bit suspicious that they’re robots or extraterrestrials.  That’s probably because they aren’t the normal ones, according to Judith Stacey’s new book “Unhitched: Love, Marriage, and Family Values from West Hollywood to Western China” (New York University Press).

“Even a cursory scan through the historical and anthropological records reveals that the nuclear family that most Americans think of as normal–one spawned when reciprocal romantic love inspires one man and one woman to exchange vows to forsake all others before they begin inviting visits from the stork—is quite the cultural exception than the rule,” writes Stacey, a NYU Professor of Sociology and Social and Cultural Analysis.  “Unhitched” invites readers to contemplate their notion of what the best type of family is and who and what comprises a happy family.

            Throughout the book, Stacey talks about differing family types and challenges the commonly held belief that a married heterosexual couple is the foundation of a happy family.  Stacey aims to expose “the fallacies of the one-size-fits-all vision of happy families that undergirds and distorts a great deal of public family policy today.”  She does this by telling the individual stories of a variety of families around the world including gay couples with children and single gay dads in LA, South African polygamists, and Mosuo families of southwest China who practice a form of utopian intimacy by night while spending their days living at their matrilineal home compound.  The combination of each family’s intimate and memorable stories with hard research data makes for a very convincing argument that we need to reevaluate our idea of family.

NYC Pop Trio Menya Underwear Dances Down The East Coast

lt’s April, and there’s no better cure for your spring fever than a school night underwear dance party with fifty of your new best friends. Pop trio Menya brings the kind of joyful and infectious fun you want to have from now until Autumn, and like so many of the best things in life, you can enjoy it without your pants on.

Menya’s headlining appearance at Lit Lounge April 14th kicks off the group’s East Coast tour, when they’ll be spreading their brand of neon-colored high-energy dance party love to North Carolina and back. Menya, composed of  Coco Dame, Angie Ripe, and DJ Good Goose, has been around since 2007, when the three met at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. Since then, they’ve become established figures in young LGBT nightlife — last year Out Magazine named them a “Need To Know” artist. But although they’ve hit it big with shows at mammoth venues like Webster Hall, Menya isn’t about to forget its roots in the college-aged queer community.  They appeared at NYU’s LGBT Pride Month, and their East Coast tour includes plenty of college cities, including Charlotte, NC, State College, PA, and Providence, RI. “We played all these big venues, and we’ve come full circle,” says singer Angie Ripe. “Our new thing is going to be to play small, sweaty dance parties.” With peppy melodies that sound like the world’s raunchiest cheerleading routines (the song “Diana” includes the refrain “bitch come and get it” includes plenty of hand claps), Menya is the musical equivalent of early Spring sunshine– so make sure your favorite skivvies are clean.
Menya’s playing Lit Lounge on April 14th. Find more tour information on their website,

Sex with The Natural Redhead

Photo: The L Magazine

In March alone, she wrote about unwanted boners, sex while sleeping, and the speed that ejaculate shoots out of a human wiener. You might think that The L Magazine’s sex columnist Audrey Ference is a sex fiend–a sultry ginger vixen oozing sexuality onto the sidewalks of Soho.  That’s not the case at all. Continue reading

What is the Difference Between Heterosexual Dating Rules Post-Second Wave?: Not Much…

I’ve been questioning “rules” that I abide to without question.  I remember my mother telling me after my first kiss at 15 years old, “do not have sex with that boy because he will lose interest in you,” this mantra plagued my dating life into my college years. displayed photographs and captions from the 1938 Dating Guide for Single Women and titled the segment “Vintage Sexism.” Some of the “vintage” rules were reminiscent of what family and friends highlighted for me throughout my teenage years.

Continue reading

Welcome to the New Caste System

It was just another Thursday night at one of the seedy gay bars in the East Village. The Boiler Room(classy eh?) has been the setting for many a casual drinking night and is about as standard as a gay bar in the City comes Lady Gaga beats in the background; some dance, others sit watching, and the gay dating caste system manifests.

The caste system has been a wonderful metaphor for many divisions within our society. Ever since Carrie Bradshaw mused in the second season of Sex and the Citythat the New York dating scene is divided into castes based on income and cultural power, I have heard the somewhat misguided notion over and over again. I have never given much heed to the idea until it popped up in my own backyard Continue reading

Women and Sex: Can we really do it like men?

Photo: Slate Magazine

In a strange world where feminists and Playboy bunnies join hands to support casual sex by women, it seems that on an individual basis, we gals may not be so content with having multiple sexual partners.  Jessica Grose writes in her story The Shame Cycle about a world that I know all too well.  I know a girl who randomly slept with a close friend last week.  She’s uncomfortable with the situation and doesn’t want to be around him, but he wants to continue life as it was before. As he was her fifth sexual partner, she was upset that it’ll now take two hands to count the notches on her bed post.  Do women really have more of a sexual conscience, or are men just better at hiding it?

–Toni Cruthirds